He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
