So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize