ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
