yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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