i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
