So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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