yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
