he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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