youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
