hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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