I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
