I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize