this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
