I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
