Swine flu. Run for my life!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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