I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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