Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
