matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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