I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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