i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
