We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
