I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
