Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
