woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
