whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I feel like death gave me a hand job
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Randomize
