spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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