My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sorry my hands just texted you
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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