I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
