is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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