Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
