hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
3 2 1 whiskey
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
