11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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