it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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