I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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