How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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