I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
