summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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