it wasn't lemon gatorade
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
