How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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