Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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