When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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