Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
