it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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