It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize