make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
