You're so nebulous sometimes
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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