Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
