his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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