dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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