The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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