had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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