Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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