Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
