she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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