Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
