1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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