Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
