Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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