thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
