i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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