I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
