3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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