We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
